A flat tire and the dense fog, took me more than a hour and half to travel what normally would be a half an hour journey. A good start after a short break. All the laziness was gone in a jiffy. For once after years, there is that lull in the horizon, not much pressure of work. Its been more cold too, and that does make me realize that i am getting older. This has rather put me into the contemplating mood and that sucks.
Well had a big family get together on the Sunday, and a nice dinner. It was really good to see so many kids together. The gay and abandon of the kids is infectious. It was really tough controlling more than 10 kids.. A full time job :)). But then kids are kids, and with them around life seems so easy. At times i feel kaash, we would never grow up .....
This short break made me contemplate, think, something which i had been shying up from. With my legs up and relaxed, the thoughts linger, my book self comes to life. Mixing life, the hectic schedule of work, the pressures ... these years had made me lag behind in the reading. It was tough to get back to reading. The calmness, the openness needed to read was missing, my thoughts used to leap over the text. The mind used to waver, and then the essence of the text used to disappear, and then so the book used to lie on the shelf unread. But still the bottom had to be touched, and as i progressed, i did touch it too. I stopped buying books. The self lay dormant for years, banished from my eyes, banished from my mind, the mind, so unsure of itself, shut itself into a cocoon. Its been a gradual reawakening, starting again from reading simple books .. kids books, comics, poems, classical's , thrillers but still i avoided the serious stuff. I could not bring myself around to do it, to pick it up, to read, the fears were large, looming in the darkness.
Something snapped, i do not know what, but then one fine morning, i blogged. It did change me, i read and read the views around, saw the world through the numerous eyes. It was like in essence capturing the world, in a short span, with numerous sensors all over the vast world. The human world is really complex, the same thing can be interpreted in a different way in a different zone. Blogs are short, precise and that did help me to get back into the habit of reading :). For once i was back, but then i had to face my daemons. Its been tough, not easy but then i believe, what ever happens is for the best.
And finally yesterday, i did finish one serious book. But that let me wondering at the genius "the brain", which can conjure such things. It made me think, about the writers, authors, they are a different breed and for once i was glad i am not a writer, a author, who uses writing for earning a living. I find it tough, to separate, what is written for the publicity, for catching the eye, whether its the heinous devilry, the evil description or ....
Are there any others who write for the sake of writing without bothering? Well blogging is one, where i see this breed. Not all blogs, yeah some.
