Birthday's are a great time, and a reckoning, a reminder that one is growing up. Each time that it came, it did have a different feeling, not that I do recollect all the thoughts of the past and the feelings. But it hasn’t been that I dreaded the day coming, wanting to avoid it. I think, the realisation that she isn’t going to be there for wishing me, is something I haven’t come to terms with.
Its so easy to take for granted the near and dear ones to be there on this occasion. She's been there for me for the past every year without fail, even those years when I had not developed the faculties to understand the concept of birthdays. I believe, in those times she would have taken me up in her arms, and cooed around with love. For the years, that I remember, all the dishes I loved, she would make and I with a glee would look forward to it. Its been ages, memories have dimmed, what has stood out, is that she would ask me to get up early in the morning, the new clothes, the prayer before anything else, and then the love in those hands and love in those eyes. The list of gifts, is endless, sometimes a surprise, sometimes an expectation. But as I grew up with time, distances did part us, but a call, the first in the morning would always be there, to just to be the first, I think and also more so to ascertain, if I was not being the lazying one, especially on this day. It was a voice full of love, with loads of blessings and also voice of caution and advice.
The voice, silenced on the 1st of Feb, this year forever, made me grow up finally. There isn’t a voice that’s going to make me feel like a kid, shower me, make me feel young, make me forget the world, make me feel safe, make me unconditionally love, make me see things in the right perspective, hold me when I am sad, wipe my tears when I shed them, feed me when I am hungry, share my happiness, make my heart light, .........
Mom, finally I have grown up, but why did you have to go to make me realise it?
Its so easy to take for granted the near and dear ones to be there on this occasion. She's been there for me for the past every year without fail, even those years when I had not developed the faculties to understand the concept of birthdays. I believe, in those times she would have taken me up in her arms, and cooed around with love. For the years, that I remember, all the dishes I loved, she would make and I with a glee would look forward to it. Its been ages, memories have dimmed, what has stood out, is that she would ask me to get up early in the morning, the new clothes, the prayer before anything else, and then the love in those hands and love in those eyes. The list of gifts, is endless, sometimes a surprise, sometimes an expectation. But as I grew up with time, distances did part us, but a call, the first in the morning would always be there, to just to be the first, I think and also more so to ascertain, if I was not being the lazying one, especially on this day. It was a voice full of love, with loads of blessings and also voice of caution and advice.
The voice, silenced on the 1st of Feb, this year forever, made me grow up finally. There isn’t a voice that’s going to make me feel like a kid, shower me, make me feel young, make me forget the world, make me feel safe, make me unconditionally love, make me see things in the right perspective, hold me when I am sad, wipe my tears when I shed them, feed me when I am hungry, share my happiness, make my heart light, .........
Mom, finally I have grown up, but why did you have to go to make me realise it?
